Lorde And The Longing For A Slow World
i spent this weekend listening to lorde's 'solar power' and thinking about life.
“couldn’t wait to turn fifteen / then you blink and it’s been ten years / growing up a little at a time then all at once”
that’s lorde singing a song from her new album Solar Power [Secrets From A Girl (Who’s Seen It All)].
contrary to what seems to be the popular opinion, i actually enjoyed the album. do the songs make you groove? not really. does Solar Power charm you as instantly as her previous albums? i’m afraid not. Solar Power, i feel, is more about the slow relish. every song has something individualistic, something hypnotizing about it that makes you want to listen to it again in hope of figuring it out. lorde’s vocals are beautiful and each song on the album just has a unique, spellbinding way of settling beneath your skin — like a peculiar, indescribable feeling.
here’s a lovely performance of another lovely song on the album:
i’ve been listening to it for a week now and every time i put Solar Power on, it reminds me of a slow world. a world where we’re all able to sit back, take a deep breath, and just wriggle our toes for the fuck of it. it’s a soothing album and i particularly admire how it builds on feelings and anxieties without giving in to the heaviness of it. when i listen to Solar Power, i’m not worried — i’m simply pondering. which is a rare feeling in itself (for me) because historically i’ve found it difficult to think without panicking. a lot of my adult life has just been about trying to absorb situations without the trepidation that comes attached with it.
unfortunately, this ‘slow world’ that lorde transports me to has no place in my real life. in my head, my life has always been divided into a ‘slow world’ and a ‘fast world.’ until some time ago, there was a clear demarcation between the two: the ‘fast world’ existed on weekdays and the ‘slow world’ was a weekend respite. if i had feelings about anything, i’d simply postpone them for the weekend — when i could escape to my ‘slow world’ and endlessly dwell on everything. the ‘fast world’ was more about just rolling with the punches, you know?
but lately, the distinct boundaries that i created between these two worlds have been failing; both worlds are now merging into one and it’s a bit tough to believe in the absolute existence of either.
i can no longer assign specific days to this arbitrary binary in my head. instead, i find traces of both worlds in my daily life, which is kind of tragic but also really poetic and beautiful. depending on what i’m in the mood for.
to try and break this down further for me, i did a little exercise and made a list of different things/activities/moments that remind me of the two worlds in my head.
Some Beautiful ‘Slow World’ Things:
a phone call that lasts until dawn. because time can spread endlessly in front of you in an exciting way also.
books.
wine.
walking in a grocery store. just brushing your hands against the stacked rows of food. aimlessly reading product labels, checking prices, tossing things into your basket, feeling conflicted about whether or not you really need a certain something in your kitchen.
kisses.
cuddling with your pet.
bus rides. provided you have a window seat.
watching a movie in a theatre. alone.
laughter. the kind that makes you hold your stomach tight and tear up. the kind that makes no sense.
swimming. time moves slowly whenever i am in the swimming pool.
ocean. waves crashing on the shore. wet sand that sticks to your feet. watching other people as they stare into the sea. a beautiful sunset.
waiting at an airport.
Some Unfortunate ‘Fast World’ Things:
the illusion of time. or calendars. time moves at an astonishingly frightening and fast pace.
first day back at work/school/college after vacation. whether it’s 2 days or 15 days, vacations, i’m convinced, are a time capsule.
social media. this evil was designed to make us feel inadequate in a thousand ways so it’s only fitting that it would make me feel like the world is moving way too fast for its own or my good.
money. so much of this ‘fast world’ that i speak of revolves around money. i would love to elaborate but not this time.
netflix. or any other OTT platform. there’s too much content. sigh.
morning walks. i know they’re supposed to be calming but they’re also a reminder of the long, chaos-filled day that’s ahead of you.
pop culture.
whatsapp messages.
falling ill. there’s nothing like falling sick to make me realize how much of my world consists of ‘fast world’ things that i temporarily can’t participate in.
news.
the last hug just before someone is about to leave for a long time. this one is a nice feeling but it always reminds me of how fast life moves.
an airplane journey.
thank you for reading! if you can relate and have your own ‘small world’ and ‘fast world’ things, please comment or reply, i’d love to know :)
Hello, just started reading your newsletters and I adore this one. It's funny how I think airplane journeys feel slow to me - I think it's to do with the suspension of routine and airports as liminal spaces, etc., time always seemed to fall away when I stepped into an airport (or maybe I'm just remembering it wrong, it's been a while).